Book 6: If I am Missing or Dead by Janine Latus

I read a lot of unsettling, dark, heartbreaking books about all the awful things that exist in our world. I read them because seeing the different ways people deal with all the awful things life can throw at them is kinda beautiful. Each book makes an impact, it touches me somehow, and then I tuck away bits of it in my heart and in my mind and I start a new book. If I Am Missing or Dead by Janine Latus, did that but on a really uncomfortable almost panicy level. Latus tells her and her sister’s mirrored stories about the impactful male relationships in their lives, all of which were extremely abusive, ending with her sister’s eventual murder.  This book was hard to get through, every male character honestly scared me shitless on a vaguely familiar level. The fear and the manipulation and the guilt involved all settled in this very real “this could be you, this could be your sister” kind of place. There are disgusting, vile human-beings out there. The thought that there are women, statistically speaking women I know, who are experiencing emotion al and/or physical abuse from a significant other makes me ache for them. Repeated throughout the book was a line that I feel deserves to be repeated one more time “We would have come”, and it’s the truth. No matter the situation, time, or how well I know you, if you ask for help or need support in anyway, I would come. No one deserves to have their light diminished even for a second.

Book 5: The Hottest State by Ethan Hawke

Best book I’ve read in a long time. I have no clue why I didn’t read it sooner. Lovely, heartbreaking, and understated. Made me miss falling for someone, made me never want to fall for someone again. Read it in basically one sitting, just do yourself a favor and pick it up.

Book 4: Whip Smart by Melissa Febos

Don’t worry, don’t worry, I’m not nearly as far behind in reading as it seems I am.

I got back to nonfiction with Whip Smart as book four, which was a book that had many more layers to it than I had originally assumed. Melissa Febos writes about the handful of years she was a dominatrix in New York City, but it’s only about that on a basic level. While she does, in detail, explain sessions with her clients (which were hard to get through at times while sick with the flu), the book as a whole was more so about the strength, and willpower, and fortitude hiding within ourselves. She touched on the effects money has on us all, as well as how it’s possible to grow and overcome with each misstep made in life by understanding why they were made in the first place. Her writing style has an easy conversational type of flow that is like hanging out with an incredibly intelligent close friend, and also has moments of beautiful illusions and spot on metaphors which have a way of making you feel oddly connected to her. I enjoyed this book for be insightful and eye opening in all the not obvious ways.